"My
child is gay; I don't know what to do. We really tried to be good
parents. We thought we gave him everything he needed. My wife isn't over
protective and I am not an absent father. We raised out kids exactly
the same; there were no favourites and no favouritism. What is going to
happen to him, and what are the people going to say?"
This is the typical cry for help that we hear from parents every day. Answering them isn't easy because in all honesty, they do not want to accept the truth. On the other hand knowledge is power and understanding is 90% of acceptance. The next seven truths may help you with the knowledge, but the understanding and acceptance should come from your heart.
The first truth is that most unbiased researches found that sexual orientation isn't caused by nurture, but by nature. In layman's terms: your child isn't gay because of anything you did; he/she is gay because he/she was born that way. Stop blaming yourself; it isn't your fault. Nature decided that your child would be gay and remember there are gay animals among all mammals. Looking at nature we can therefore say that homosexuality is natural, but homophobia is not. Humans are the only mammals guilty of homophobia.
The second truth is that 10% of all people are gay. It isn't true that this percentage is higher than in the past; the only difference is that more people feel safe enough to tell the world about it. The fact that your child told you about his/her sexuality is a compliment for you. It means your child respects you and trusts you with his/her deepest inner-being.
The third truth is that you can not do anything about it. Stop looking for ways to change your kid; he/she needs your acceptance much more than the help you think you are going to get. You would not believe what so-called healers do to change a person's sexuality. It borders on the actions of a psychopath.
The fourth truth is that you are not alone. There are many organisations that can help you with your feelings and your experience as the parents of a gay child. You do not have to invent the wheel in this regard. Many has gone before you. Remember that being gay is among the top reasons for teenagers to commit suicide. The fact is that it isn't being gay that's the problem; its being rejected by their parents that breaks these children.
The fifth truth is that many people throughout the world live successful gay lives, and with your help and acceptance your child will be able to do the same. Many gay people are in loving relationships, have successful jobs, and even raise happy children. I am one of them.
The sixth truth is that sexual orientation doesn't change anything. He or she is still the same child you have nurtured all these years. The difference is in the eye of the beholder; if you look closely you will realise that the signs were there from the beginning. It's not the child that has changed; it is your knowledge of your child that has changed. Your child's sexuality isn't the problem; the problem lies with the expectations you had for your child.
The seventh truth is that nothing bonds relationships more than accepting who we are and accepting others. Accept that you did your best as parents of your child, and accept your child for who he/she really is. Nothing will give your child a stronger chance in life than your love. Research shows that people who are loved and accepted by their parents have a three times better chance of living a full and happy life. You do have an influence on the happiness of your child, but that is not by changing them to be someone else.
True love is unconditional and conditional love isn't love at all. If you truly love your kid you will love him/her for who he/she is and not for whom you think he/she should be. Nothing is as sad as a person going through life with the knowledge that he/she isn't good enough for his/her own parents. Please don't do that to your child.
This is the typical cry for help that we hear from parents every day. Answering them isn't easy because in all honesty, they do not want to accept the truth. On the other hand knowledge is power and understanding is 90% of acceptance. The next seven truths may help you with the knowledge, but the understanding and acceptance should come from your heart.
The first truth is that most unbiased researches found that sexual orientation isn't caused by nurture, but by nature. In layman's terms: your child isn't gay because of anything you did; he/she is gay because he/she was born that way. Stop blaming yourself; it isn't your fault. Nature decided that your child would be gay and remember there are gay animals among all mammals. Looking at nature we can therefore say that homosexuality is natural, but homophobia is not. Humans are the only mammals guilty of homophobia.
The second truth is that 10% of all people are gay. It isn't true that this percentage is higher than in the past; the only difference is that more people feel safe enough to tell the world about it. The fact that your child told you about his/her sexuality is a compliment for you. It means your child respects you and trusts you with his/her deepest inner-being.
The third truth is that you can not do anything about it. Stop looking for ways to change your kid; he/she needs your acceptance much more than the help you think you are going to get. You would not believe what so-called healers do to change a person's sexuality. It borders on the actions of a psychopath.
The fourth truth is that you are not alone. There are many organisations that can help you with your feelings and your experience as the parents of a gay child. You do not have to invent the wheel in this regard. Many has gone before you. Remember that being gay is among the top reasons for teenagers to commit suicide. The fact is that it isn't being gay that's the problem; its being rejected by their parents that breaks these children.
The fifth truth is that many people throughout the world live successful gay lives, and with your help and acceptance your child will be able to do the same. Many gay people are in loving relationships, have successful jobs, and even raise happy children. I am one of them.
The sixth truth is that sexual orientation doesn't change anything. He or she is still the same child you have nurtured all these years. The difference is in the eye of the beholder; if you look closely you will realise that the signs were there from the beginning. It's not the child that has changed; it is your knowledge of your child that has changed. Your child's sexuality isn't the problem; the problem lies with the expectations you had for your child.
The seventh truth is that nothing bonds relationships more than accepting who we are and accepting others. Accept that you did your best as parents of your child, and accept your child for who he/she really is. Nothing will give your child a stronger chance in life than your love. Research shows that people who are loved and accepted by their parents have a three times better chance of living a full and happy life. You do have an influence on the happiness of your child, but that is not by changing them to be someone else.
True love is unconditional and conditional love isn't love at all. If you truly love your kid you will love him/her for who he/she is and not for whom you think he/she should be. Nothing is as sad as a person going through life with the knowledge that he/she isn't good enough for his/her own parents. Please don't do that to your child.
https://www.facebook.com/Cobragay
http://www.amazon.com/Just-Another-Gayboy-Brand-Doubell-ebook/dp/B00K0T9KB6
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Brand_Doubellhttp://www.amazon.com/Just-Another-Gayboy-Brand-Doubell-ebook/dp/B00K0T9KB6
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