Giving it your best.

Who are you? Who am I? Have you ever asked yourself that question? I wonder about that a lot. I ask myself who I am and who I wish to become. I ask myself whether I can do the things I dream about and I ask myself whether it is worth a try. My parents taught me that it is not important what you do with your life, as long as you make sure that you are the best. I think they were wrong. They should have said it is not important what you become in your life as long as you are happy. But what is happiness? When do you feel happy? Is it when you are the best or when you gave it your best? Should I ask who I am or who I want to become? Something tells me it is the latter. I should give it my best to become what I wish to become.
Chris Evert, the world’s number one professional tennis player, said:
“I was very, very shy as a younger girl, just petrified of people. Tennis helped give me an identity and made me feel like somebody.”

People look at successful tennis players, football players, businessmen, politicians and authors and think that these people never had any doubts. They think that success is only meant for a few unique individuals with a lot of talent, but that is not the case at all. Talent, ability or a strong self-image rarely takes you to the top. It is the act to try and try again, the willingness to go on despite failure, the dedication without the perfect natural talent and the decision that you will not be stopped, that makes you fly.
Yes, Chris Evert did not lose many times, in fact she won 1309 professional single matches and only lost 146, but if you only heard about her failures, would you have believed that she was one of the best ever?
The only sure way of losing is never to try at all.
Socrates said that he was only sure of one thing and that was the fact that he knew nothing. With that Socrates meant that his own wisdom was limited by his ignorance. You are not sure of all answers, because you do not know everything. You are unaware of certain things and therefore you can not be sure that you are right.
One modern day example of someone who were exceptionally successful and one ancient example of someone who were exceptionally wise teaches us one extremely important lesson; never kid yourself in thinking you have enough talent or wisdom. Our abilities and our intellect are limited. That does not mean that you should give up on your dreams, Evert and Socrates did not use their limitations as an excuse not to try, they gave it their best without being arrogant or conceited. They gave it their best to become what they wished to be.
Academically interesting, but largely irrelevant if you can’t apply this to our gay world and way of life.
I know two kinds of disabled people; those who use their disadvantage as an excuse not to be successful and those who use it as motivation to break through their disability. Do you remember the part in Queer as folk when Justin wanted to give up on his art after his attack by a homophobic prick? Do you remember who persuaded him to go on? An artist in a wheelchair, that broke through her disability. Never use your unconventional sexuality as an excuse. Never tell me it stopped you from becoming the President; give it your best and if you’re best does not reach the presidency, then so be it. At least you tried and that is all it takes to be happy. Happiness does not come from cheap success; it comes from trying your best, giving it your all and making peace with what you have accomplished. Believe me; it will always be much better than the person who did not try at all.
Success for me, is being able to say that you’ve tried and tried and tried. It is not getting what you aimed for, it is getting the satisfaction that you went for it and gave it your best.

Brand Doubell
Bloemfontein
South Africa