Cobrahelp: Abroad yet Proudly South African

A few awkward questions came my way the other day and it made me think. I do not live in South Africa at this stage, but does that make me anything else than just a South African abroad?

Why don’t you live in South Africa Andrew? That is the question.
If I can get one single silly South African sent for every time someone asks me that question I would be able to retire. I guess most of you read Animal Farm where the discriminating, bigamous and suppressive humans were driven off the farm in the animal’s struggle to freedom. It is a book by George Orwell published in 1945 and it is aimed at Stalin’s reign in the Soviet Union of the time. It deconstructs communism and exposes it for what it is; the downfall of one oppressor to be replaced by another. After the humans were driven from the farm the pigs take over and the life of the animals become even worse under their reign. The book became a classic because it is such an accurate picture of what happens after the revolutionaries take over from the oppressors. I left South Africa in the early nineteen nineties with my clothes, my passport and a copy of Animal Farm.
So, did you leave South Africa because you were afraid that the ANC would be another Stalin? No.
In 1948 George Orwell wrote another book with the title 1984. In the book every household has a television that they can’t put off. The television does not only broadcast information into the household it also examines what goes on in the household and broadcasts it back. That book is the origin of the phrase “big brother is watching you”. Orwell believed that the government would get more and more power until it governs every single aspect of our lives even in the privacy of our bedrooms. He believed that it was only a question of time before this will start to happen and his book predicted that it would all be in place by 1984.

Okay so you left South Africa because you thought the government will take over our lives in every aspect? No.

Many people feared that South Africa would become ungovernable after 1994 and they thought there would be a food, water and electricity shortage in the country. They were so afraid that they buried cans of food in their gardens, they bought water-tanks and they bought generators. They were preparing for the worst. Some people were so scared that they opened foreign bank accounts and transferred most of their money to these offshore accounts.

Oh so you left South Africa because you were afraid there would be a shortage of food water and basic services? No.

So why did you leave South Africa?

Firstly I left South Africa because I wanted to study in Europe. My experience at South African Universities was that lecturers had a hell of a inferiority complex. If a student asked too many questions he was picked upon. There was hardly an equal platform for discussion, lecturers told you what to know and you had to parrot it back to them.

Secondly I wanted to get out of a system where everything revolved around ethnic tension. In the late Nineteen Eighties politics played such a big role in South Africa that small children were discussing it during their school breaks. Small kids made enemies based on whether other kid’s parents voted for the same parties or not. Churches divided on the grounds of party politics and even school boards were ruled and regulated by it. I wanted to study at the feet of professors who did not get the job because they voted for the”right” party.

Thirdly I wanted to learn more about other countries, their cultures, people, games and way of life.

Fourthly I never thought about emigrating. It was never an option to stay in another country. I wanted to learn more and I wanted to come back so that I could give something back to my own country and my own people.

So why didn’t you come back?

I did not come back because there was no place left for me. I am a white, previously privileged, South African man so a job was hardly easy to get. I am gay which draws its own set of discrimination. I have quite a few degrees behind my name which made me over qualified for a large portion in the market. I studied for many years meaning that I lacked hands on experience. One of the things I never really understand because if all jobs required experience how are the inexperienced going to get experience? I was, as I said, one of the previously privileged but the problem was that although my population was previously privileged I was not. I mean how does it help me that other white men made a lot of money in the past? It was, after all, not my money.

So? What did you do?

I stayed in England because there they didn’t care whether I was white, pink, learned, male, gay, straight, young, inexperienced or English. All they wanted to know was whether I was able to do the job and whether I was prepared to actually do it.
Is this heaven; not at all. I love South Africa with its wide open spaces, abundance of meat and wonderful sunshine. I miss the Cape with the sea the mountains and the wine. I miss Gauteng with its gold, new cars, money and smog. I miss Natal with its humidity, green pastures and warm sea. I miss the Free-state with its endless horizon, blue sky and enormous soft white clouds. I miss the people, all of them. But above it all I miss the country I can call my own.

I am a white, gay, male, English speaking South African and proud of it. I hate white people that think they are better than blacks. I hate straight people that have a problem with gays. I hate females that have a chip on their shoulder. I hate Afrikaans speaking people who can’t forget the Anglo-Boer War that was 110 years ago and then moans about black people who can’t forget 16 years ago. I hate English people who look down on Afrikaans people. I hate black people who hate white people. I hate gays who are negative towards straights. In short: I hate the whole fucking South Africa. But, they are my people and I love them to bits, asshole that they are.

This Weeks Cobrabite

By Dr. Andrew Blade