Where did we get the arrogant idea of the West’s superiority? When it comes to sex and laughter the East taught us that they are more than mere aspects of a good time; they are the two best natural medicines available. I still believe that if you can learn to laugh and to make love early enough in life you won’t need any mood medication. Unfortunately people wait until it is almost too late. I am always amazed that people wait until age forty before they pay a visit to a sex-therapist. Maybe we should not be called sex-therapists but rather sex-specialists. A therapist is someone you need if you are ill but a specialist is someone you can visit if you just want to know more about any subject. I would say that my practice is 30% sex-therapy and 70% sex-education. In sex-therapy you deal with childhood traumas like rape and abuse that have a negative influence on someone’s sex-life. In Sex-ed you teach people how to screw and believe me if I say that most people do not know how. I am not talking about total sex-idiocy here; I had a straight couple for therapy once that really struggled with sex-idiocy. They came to see me because the guy could not get his penis in the girl’s navel. Don’t laugh; I am totally serious. They deduced that since a baby grows in a girl’s tummy they should get his seed there as well.
Most couples aren’t that clueless but they all can do with a bit of sex-ed. The sex-ed that youngsters get at school these days doesn’t help either; a friend told me that his kid’s sex-educator at school is a spinster that blushes through every lecture. The friend, also a sex-therapist, told me he has to redo every chapter the lady covers because she doesn’t have a clue. Unfortunately a book can tell you what to do but not what to expect if you try it. A book is also not interactive; you might follow the instructions in a book to the letter but can’t ask questions if you don’t get it right. I read through a gay-sex manual a while ago (reported as one of the best available) and the book said the average penis is 9 cm in diameter; I nearly pissed myself and looked at the cover again just to make sure that it isn’t a sex-manual for elephants. I can just imagine how inadequate a lot of guys felt after they read that bit of useless information.
But back to sex and laughter as natural medicine. It is really true that an orgasm a day will keep the psychologist away. There are a few things that prove the truth of this statement:
Firstly it is important for your mental health to relax and to take time for relaxation. You yuppies; give me a brake. I know the cliche that there is no time to relax. I always respond by asking: “do you have time for a nervous breakdown, heart attack, seizure or major depression love?” The fact is that if you do not make time to relax your body will force you to spend a holiday in hospital. Having sex is one of those pleasurable things that you need to make time for and time for sex is time well spent.
Secondly an orgasm produces serotonin; a mono-amine neurotransmitter that contributes to a feeling of well-being. If you use anti-depressants you are most likely taking one of the SSRI’s like Prozac, Zoloft or Luvox and all these medications help your body to make better use of your serotonin. Most of them, with the possible exception of Luvox, will fuck up your sex-life so you might as well make sure you get enough orgasms in order to prevent depression; as usual prevention is better than cure.
Thirdly your body releases dopamine after an orgasm and that produces cerebral pleasure; another necessity for combating depression. Lastly the body will release oxytocin, the so-called love-hormone that aids in feelings of love, empathy and connection. The drug ecstasy stimulates the body to produce more oxytocin and since orgasms aren’t illegal or pricy like ecstasy, I would suggest more orgasms.
It has been successfully proven that laughter enhances immunoglobulin M and G and compliment-3, all of which aids and strengthens the body’s immune system.
I know it isn’t fun to read all this technical jargon but I merely want to show you that sex and laughter really do make the world go round. In our stressful time we are so busy making a living that we do not always make time for good sex and a good laugh. The end result is that we become ill and spend enormous amounts on meds. The West has always produced the best curative healers and the East the best preventive guru’s. While the West were playing with their test tubes in laboratories the East were sucking dick under a tree. To each his own; I prefer a phallic tube above a test tube, but hey, maybe that’s just me.
This week's Cobrabite
by Andrew Blade
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