The quest for happiness

Happiness is one of the greatest gifts that life offers. It seems that some people are born happy while others just can’t reach it. Last week I wrote about seven steps to increase happiness, but some of my friends still think there should be more to it and I will have to agree.
Psychological research shows us that happiness is influenced by a spectrum of aspects and yet that which we might think causes happiness normally does not. I have always believed that money can not make you happy, but it can definitely steal your happiness. This has been proved by Ed Diener from the University of Illinois. His research showed that the richest Americans (earning more than $10 million a year) were only slightly happier than the average American. On the other hand we all know how unhappy financial problems can make you at times. The point is that money isn’t a very good predictor of happiness.
We also might think that people who are in healthy relationships aught to be happy, but research showed that happiness can vary from the highest to the lowest level whether someone is in a healthy relationship or not. The same could be said for a stable job, a close family, good friends and general health.
This information directed scientists to ask what aspects really influence happiness. Like in all other psychological questions the nature-nurture debate played a vital role. Theorists who believe that we are mere puppets of our genetics studied the influence of our genes on happiness. Theorists who believe that we are products of our environment studied the environmental aspects that influence happiness. As this debate always ends in the theory that both nature and nurture influences human beings the outcome of this study was no exception. As you might have predicted scientists now believe that our genetic makeup only influences 50% of our level of happiness. The “unexpected” result was that only 10% of our level of happiness can be traced back to our environment (for example wealth, health and general stress levels).
The researchers came to the conclusion that almost 40% of our level of happiness can be changed with therapeutic intervention. That means that a person’s genetic makeup and his environment could be very low in influencing real happiness and he or she could still be helped to live a more than average happy life.
It is important to realize that we live in an “instant” society. All of us have the idea that problems should be dealt with within this instant. If I have a headache I take some medication and if it isn’t gone in ten minutes I will take some more. If it isn’t gone by this afternoon I will go to a doctor and by tonight I will insist on hospitalization. I do not smoke a pipe because I don’t have the time for it and for the rest we rely on instant food, instant coffee, an instant camera and a microwave for the rest. My parents waited for the eight O Clock News on television to know what tomorrow’s weather would be like, but I want to Google it NOW.
The quest for happiness is no exception. Amazon lists more than 7000 selfhelp books on happiness alone. Everybody jumped on the bandwagon after psychologist Martin Seligman of the University of Pennsylvania persuaded his colleagues to study optimal moods with the same intensity they studied pathology. The quest for optimal happiness began in the late 1990’s and is far from over. While the selling of happiness-books rose exponentially the average happiness of the population went downhill. Somehow we are putting up a bigger fight and yet we are losing the battle to a larger extent.
I promise I won’t leave you with this gloomy and unhappy picture. There are quite a few positive things in the quest to cheer us up.
Firstly psychologists, psychiatrists, Christian pastoral workers and Buddhist priests agree that being content lies at the root of real happiness. It is not how much you have, but to what extent you are happy with what you have that makes the difference.
Secondly it is important to be part of a community. Humans are pack-animals and a group feeling is important to us all. Especially this is important in the queer community. Historically we felt left out, alone and isolated, but the international winds of change brought us more rights, openness and chances to gather as a group.
Living a meaningful life rather than a life filled with instant pleasures brings more happiness in the long run. This implies a move away from instant happiness to a feeling of gradual content. It asks some discipline, effort and hard work in the direction of growth, depth and purpose.
Somehow it is better for your over-all happiness if you don’t get everything you want. Our adaptability to bad things helps us to grow in happiness, but this growth only works if we stumble upon a few pitfalls. Like our muscles need exercise, our happiness-muscles need it to.
Getting off from the road to happiness is good for our happiness. If you only pursue happiness it evades you, but if you strive to do your job and experience everything, it brings happiness. It is like a friend of mine once said about money: “If you work in order to get money you will never reach your goal but if you do what you enjoy the money will come to you as well.”

This week’s Cobrabite
by Brand Doubell.    




Brand Doubell
Cobrahelp