Married
people know that you have to choose your friends wisely. A couple whose
relationship isn't very strong can be tiresome for strong loving
couples. Two couples who aren't very strong in their commitment can be
asking for trouble, while two couples with strong marriages could be
live long friends. In the relationships among gay men there is one thing
that lesbians and straight couples do not have - two predators in the
same couple. I know it is a bit of a stereotype to think that men are
always the proverbial predators, but for some reason we do get that
impression in therapy - therapy with many gay couples. A couple with two
men often just have too much testosterone for its own good. If you want
your relationship to last, you will have to be very careful in choosing
your friends.
Among the girls this issue doesn't occur often, but it does occur. The girls don't have testosterone problems, but hitting on another girl's girlfriend is a problem among lesbians as well. I have to add that straight people shouldn't think it has something to do with the fact that our relationships are "unnatural" as they love to put it. This isn't something that only happens among gay folk, even though the conservative right might like to think so. It is also not something that only happens among liberals or non-religious people. Conservatives might be against swinging, but improper affairs aren't unknown among them. I will refrain from proving my point; it's hardly in my nature to throw stones at anybody.
The problem with the boys and the girls that struggle to keep it in their pants has led some gay couples to the point where lesbian couples befriend gay male couples. The same argument leads others to the idea that gay couples are the safest if they are friends with straight couples. Two lesbians do not have to fear that gay boys are going to meddle in their relationship and they do not have to fear that a straight couple would interfere in their relationship.
Unfortunately all these safety tips do not always work. For some reason it happens from time to time that a so-called straight guy that was happily married to a girl walks away with a gay guy, a lesbian, or another straight girl. Life can be terribly unpredictable. The beat safety tip is therefor to work on your relationship, to communicate regularly, and to make sure that your lover is happy. I have never believed that a third person breaks up a relationship - a third person walks away with your lover because your relationship was already broken.
The fact is that relationships do not always last for ever and it doesn't have to be one person's fault. Just like a relationship is between two people, it takes two people to make it work, and it takes two people to break it up. Gay relationships aren't any different - you need to work on them if you want them to survive.
As for friendship - it is one of the biggest blessings in life, but it can be a curse if your friendship shatters your closest relationship. It is just not worth it if it destroys your most precious relationship, but if it does, it wasn't meant to last for ever and that is part of the reality of life.
Among the girls this issue doesn't occur often, but it does occur. The girls don't have testosterone problems, but hitting on another girl's girlfriend is a problem among lesbians as well. I have to add that straight people shouldn't think it has something to do with the fact that our relationships are "unnatural" as they love to put it. This isn't something that only happens among gay folk, even though the conservative right might like to think so. It is also not something that only happens among liberals or non-religious people. Conservatives might be against swinging, but improper affairs aren't unknown among them. I will refrain from proving my point; it's hardly in my nature to throw stones at anybody.
The problem with the boys and the girls that struggle to keep it in their pants has led some gay couples to the point where lesbian couples befriend gay male couples. The same argument leads others to the idea that gay couples are the safest if they are friends with straight couples. Two lesbians do not have to fear that gay boys are going to meddle in their relationship and they do not have to fear that a straight couple would interfere in their relationship.
Unfortunately all these safety tips do not always work. For some reason it happens from time to time that a so-called straight guy that was happily married to a girl walks away with a gay guy, a lesbian, or another straight girl. Life can be terribly unpredictable. The beat safety tip is therefor to work on your relationship, to communicate regularly, and to make sure that your lover is happy. I have never believed that a third person breaks up a relationship - a third person walks away with your lover because your relationship was already broken.
The fact is that relationships do not always last for ever and it doesn't have to be one person's fault. Just like a relationship is between two people, it takes two people to make it work, and it takes two people to break it up. Gay relationships aren't any different - you need to work on them if you want them to survive.
As for friendship - it is one of the biggest blessings in life, but it can be a curse if your friendship shatters your closest relationship. It is just not worth it if it destroys your most precious relationship, but if it does, it wasn't meant to last for ever and that is part of the reality of life.
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