All
of us fear rejection, but unfortunately nobody can escape it. Everybody
belongs to some kind of group and being part of a group automatically
means that some people in other groups will hate you for no real reason.
I know a few straight people who hated gay people until they met a few
of them. Being in a group often means that you do not know members of
the "other" group and therefor you guess what these "other" people are
like - or you believe the stereotypical rubbish that some enjoys to
spread. The fact of life is that we all belong to groups and we often
judge others without really knowing them.
As a white guy living in Africa I see more than my share of group-hate. A kind of hate based on prejudice and nothing more. As a gay guy interested in human behavior I often read what some straight people have to say about gay people and more often than not they base their theories on hearsay and stereotypes. Fortunately there is an antidote against hearsay and stereotypes and that is to meet someone in real life. I reckon we have all experienced it - you hear something very bad about another person and you actually believe it until you meet him/her and realize how wrong you were. There is no doubt in my mind that there would be a lot less hatred in this world if we only allowed ourselves to listen to the enemy, before we judge them.
People stay in closets because they fear rejection. If you are actually labelled as gay it gives some people the right to judge and reject you. The sad part is that closeted gay people are rejected by straight people for being gay and by gay people for being closeted. You might think you are in the closet, but people will guess that you are gay and they often guess right. Staying in the closet doesn't save you from rejection - it makes it worse.
The moment you come out there is a big family of gay people ready to support you and believe it or not there are many straight people who will support you as well. Like gay stereotypes there are also a lot of straight stereotypes. Just like some straight people judge gay people without knowing them there are many gay people who think straight people will judge them without giving straight people a chance. You might stay in the closet because you think your straight family or friends are going to judge you, but in many cases that is just not true.
Going out of the closet means that you are becoming part of the gay family and this family stands together like all families should. Besides that you would be amassed how many straight people is part of this family. Many straight people have a father, a sister, a cousin, or a son that is gay and therefor they know the gay struggle. These straight people are often allies that will give you a lot of support.
The closet is a lonely place where you suffer on your own. It is a straight closet where you have to pretend to be somebody else. The gay family on the other hand is a place with many friends and family - real friends and real family that will take care of you. It isn't just a small group of gay people who hides in a corner; it is a large movement of gay and straight people who fights against bigotry. A family that knows what it feels like to be marginalized and a family that rejects hate based on false theories, ridiculous stereotypes and sick propaganda.
As a white guy living in Africa I see more than my share of group-hate. A kind of hate based on prejudice and nothing more. As a gay guy interested in human behavior I often read what some straight people have to say about gay people and more often than not they base their theories on hearsay and stereotypes. Fortunately there is an antidote against hearsay and stereotypes and that is to meet someone in real life. I reckon we have all experienced it - you hear something very bad about another person and you actually believe it until you meet him/her and realize how wrong you were. There is no doubt in my mind that there would be a lot less hatred in this world if we only allowed ourselves to listen to the enemy, before we judge them.
People stay in closets because they fear rejection. If you are actually labelled as gay it gives some people the right to judge and reject you. The sad part is that closeted gay people are rejected by straight people for being gay and by gay people for being closeted. You might think you are in the closet, but people will guess that you are gay and they often guess right. Staying in the closet doesn't save you from rejection - it makes it worse.
The moment you come out there is a big family of gay people ready to support you and believe it or not there are many straight people who will support you as well. Like gay stereotypes there are also a lot of straight stereotypes. Just like some straight people judge gay people without knowing them there are many gay people who think straight people will judge them without giving straight people a chance. You might stay in the closet because you think your straight family or friends are going to judge you, but in many cases that is just not true.
Going out of the closet means that you are becoming part of the gay family and this family stands together like all families should. Besides that you would be amassed how many straight people is part of this family. Many straight people have a father, a sister, a cousin, or a son that is gay and therefor they know the gay struggle. These straight people are often allies that will give you a lot of support.
The closet is a lonely place where you suffer on your own. It is a straight closet where you have to pretend to be somebody else. The gay family on the other hand is a place with many friends and family - real friends and real family that will take care of you. It isn't just a small group of gay people who hides in a corner; it is a large movement of gay and straight people who fights against bigotry. A family that knows what it feels like to be marginalized and a family that rejects hate based on false theories, ridiculous stereotypes and sick propaganda.
http://www.amazon.com/Just-Another-Gayboy-Brand-Doubell-ebook/dp/B00K0T9KB6/ref=sr_1_3?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1401961292&sr=1-3&keywords=gay+south+africa
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