Helping Straight Parents of Gay Children (Part 4 - Protecting Your Family - 2)

Are you threatened by gay people?

By Brand Doubell

In a previous article I argued that it isn't possible to change your sexual orientation. I also referred to Psychology, Theology, and the experience of the gay community and argued that most people among these groups admit that being gay is not a choice. There are those who have a problem with gay relationships, but most of them realise that being gay as such isn't a choice. As the parent of a gay child you have the responsibility to protect your family. Previously I argued that either you should help your child to change or you should accept him/her. In the light of the above the choice is easy - you should accept the fact that your child is gay and that he/she can't change that fact.
We all know that family values are one of the big issues raised in the debate on same-sex marriages. Homophobic groups argue that the family will be destroyed if same-sex marriages are allowed. Personally I would love to see the rational steps in that argument. For the life of me I can't understand how my marriage affects yours if you do not even know me. You have the right and indeed the responsibility to protect your family, but I fail to see how another's right to get married affects your rights. I do however see how your demonstration against my marriage threatens my family. In protecting your family as the parent of a gay child there are some serious threats that can destroy your family and this article covers those threats.

1. The first threat is if something causes you family to split apart. Having a gay child has the potential to split a family if, and only if some members of the family wish the gay child to leave. The first threat is therefor not having a gay child but putting that child in front of an ultimatum like - either you change your orientation or you leave this family. Since I argued that a person can not change his orientation the child does not have a choice - he/she has to leave.
2. The second threat to your family or in deed anybody's family is if a gay child is forced to marry someone of the opposite sex. There are numerous sad true stories of gay people forced into straight marriages. At the end you can pretend for only a few years until the cracks start to show. As a parent you would know that most marriages fail. I am sure you would agree that keeping a marriage together isn't always that easy and complicating it with a partner that isn't attracted to the other partner dooms it to failure. If you want to see a winning recipe for failure - force a gay kid into a straight marriage.
3. The third threat to family values is the so-called gay-agenda. According to some homophobes there is a secret diabolic agenda amongst gay people to break down families by influencing young people to become gay. There are at least three reasons why this is ridiculous. Firstly, as argued in previous articles, it is impossible to change your sexual orientation. Secondly, as stated as well, most gay people would agree that they would've never chose to be gay so why would they try to put others through the same difficulty? Thirdly, research showed that most child molesters are straight, gay people has no interest in your kids.
4. The fourth threat is the argument that gay marriages would disrupt family values because a true marriage is something sacred and should be between a man and a woman. As said before, how on earth does my same-sex marriage threaten yours? There are many gay marriages and research showed over and over again that children in these families are just as adjusted as kids in straight marriages. In fact, some research suggests that they are generally more adjusted. On the other hand it does not take research to know how un-sacred some straight marriages are. The sanctity of marriage lies in love, trust, and mutual respect - it has nothing to do with the gender of the partners.

If you review the threats mentioned above you will realise that homophobia is at the core of all the real threats to family life and values. Gay relationships only threaten a marriage if homophobes forced a gay person into a straight marriage.
How can you as the parent of a gay kid protect your family? By accepting your child and by giving him/her the freedom to choose the one he/she loves. The moment you take that freedom away, you are the real threat to your family.

https://www.facebook.com/Cobragay?ref=hl
http://www.amazon.com/Just-Another-Gayboy-Brand-Doubell-ebook/dp/B00K0T9KB6

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